I went out for a couple of drinks and some dinner with the homie yesterday after work. Just to celebrate his new job. He starts today. We got to talking about life, shared some funny stories, but what really stuck out was he told me I was “consistent”. That no matter where I am or who I am dealing with I am me and that is what I give to them. That I have a “quiet confidence” that lets me say exactly what I want to say and “chuckle at the end of it”. It felt good coming from him. He is the Godfather of my son and someone who I truly admire for his confidence. He is the type of dude every chick wants to be with and every dude wants to be. I appreciated that. I think everyone should be able to see themselves how their loved ones see them.
I battle with this a lot. It is funny he sees me as confident, when all I see is everything that is wrong. I am a ball of insecurity wrapped in a beard. I guess it is because I only focus on the things I want to fix. People around me only seem to see the things that are already fixed.
I just want to thank my family (wife especially) and friends for trying to always help me see the good. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but I hear you. I am trying to become better and enjoying these moments, rather than just wallowing in the insecurity of all of those things I need to fix. But I think even the most secure individual needs a pat on the back every once in a while.